A Labor Day to Remember

It was early September, 1933, and I was four years old.

I lived with my parents in my grandparents' house in San Benito, Texas, where my grandfather had a variety store.  We lived back of the store, across the alley, in a wooden house that faced the other street---what was its name? Travis? Maybe. All the streets of that town were named after Texas heroes.

I remember standing in the front of the store watching the Labor Day parade which was staunchly parading by down the main street, Sam Houston Boulevard as I remember it. I remember the sky darkening, and the parade beginning to break up under an onslaught of rain. That was in the morning.

Next, we flash into evening, when we were eating cold baked beans out of a can  in the kitchen of our house. It was darkish because the power was all out.  There was much talk of the hurricane which had struck, and worry about the stability of our little wooden house.  Finally the grown-ups decided to go across the alley and take shelter in the brick store. I remember that we hunkered down and did that. There must have been some kind of lanterns because I remember faces barely lit, darkness and feeling ill.  And anxiety in the air.

When the big winds took the roof off the store, rain poured into the balcony second story, ruining as we later found out all the stock of school supplies my grandfather had laid in to sell the next few months. I also found out later that that was the ruination of his business as he had no insurance and never overcame the economic calamity.

At about that point, the 'eye' of the hurricane passed over San Benito, and we had the opportunity to get out of the now unprotected store.  I clearly remember running down the street to a dry-cleaner's establishment where a number of other people were hunkering down. My grandfather carried my little sister Olive. I remember 'hugging' the side of the building as we ran. There were about a half dozen people other than ourselves, and everyone became worried about the lightning, which might strike the dry cleaning fluid standing about and blow us all to heck.

I remember little more, except that I felt miserable. My mother later told me that I'd thrown up all night, probably from those cold baked beans...perhaps from the anxiety.  When morning came and the hurricane had passed, we went back to the house.

I remember standing in the kitchen, and everyone was talking about how remarkable it was that the house had stayed up perfectly okay, the roof intact and no inside damage to speak of.  That was my Labor Day to remember. My father was working in Mexico at the time, and got a newspaper from the USA the next day that said, "South Texas Wiped Out in Hurricane." But he came home to find us all safe and sound, though a bit shaken. He took us driving through the flooded streets, where we saw lots of poor folk driven totally homeless by the storm, and lots of wind damage.  A Labor Day to remember!!!   YAZZYBEL

Walking in Water

Good afternoon. Have I written about this before?

I need to move my body, and I need to make it move in order to move it, because it is inclined to just loll around if it does what it likes.

I started walking in water again. I love water, and it is much better to walk in than just old air...though I used to love that too.  I did not want to drive far, and finally I settled on going back to Paradise Village in spite of the fact that it's fifteen minutes going and fifteen minutes coming home in order to spend fifteen minutes in the water.

Yes, fifteen minutes! I am so weak after this quiet year...so move I must. I am worn out when I come out of the water, because water-walking is deceptive in that it feels easy while you are in there but you are working your muscles harder than you realize.  So I have to ration myself to fifteen minutes.

I joined the evening arthritis exercises and they are actually forty five minutes, and I come home and go right to bed for I can do no more. But when I go alone, I just walk for fifteen or twenty minutes which I'd advise for any beginner whether you think it's enough or not.

Pretty soon it's going to be too dark to go to the classes as I don't drive at night much....and I'll return to fifteen minutes three times a week until I build up some strength.

Paradise Village is the senior residence next to Paradise Valley Hospital, and the pool is in there. Inside. Huge, huge. Shallow. Warm (ish). Protected from the wind...beautiful...with a lovely painted mural and windows looking into the salon of the residence.  All so beautiful.  And often so deserted.

I am telling anyone who lives within driving distance of that pool that they should get themselves over there and join up. You don't have to be a resident of the hall...you pay a reasonable fee as a member of the Fitness Club. It is wonderful. I am looking forward to getting stronger! YAZZYBEL

Time Still Goes By

Qu'el fou!  I have not been writing. Not because I had nothing to say...but because when I tried to log in I'd forgotten my password.

And my book of passwords is lost. Of course it is.

So today, I drew a blank again, but a few seconds later I drew again and came up with the password. It was the right one! Right now I do not remember what I wrote and I did not put it down, so this may be the last you see from little old Yazzybel as I retire into the convent of nitwits.

Have been reading a lot about something called excitotoxins, things that we eat and put into our bodies which over stimulate our pleasure centers in the brain and cause them to burn out, thus causing us to develop Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, or any number of other awful conditions.  The main culprit is MSG which apparently can be put into food under many guises nowadays, causing our brain receptors to get over excited and crave more more more of the bad stuff before it shuts down the master board.

There are so many different guises under which this MSG-type stimulant appears. One of the main ones is aspartame.  Another one is hydrolyzed vegetable (soy or wheat or whatever) protein.  There are others. Supposedly all quick-fix foods have these bad molecules in them, put in deliberately by the bad guys who want to make lots of money and see us go down to obesity, ADHD, Parkinson's, Alzheimers, ALS, and any number of other nightmarish conditions.

The answer? Dont eat any more pre-packaged or pre-prepared foods. No mixes. No handy boxes of sauce. Get out your 1936 cookbook and roll up your sleeves. If you want chicken buy some chicken, not fake chicken patties made of soy granules. If you cannot afford to eat fresh meat, just eat vegetables then. You'll be the healthier for it.

Sounds depressing? Don't be depressed except for the future of the children of this country, and that is plenty for us to worry about.  We older folk will do just fine eating out of the 1936 cookbook if we are careful of what we buy, utilize the Organic section of produce, and even make our own ice cream and catsup. Don't worry, cream, sugar and strawberries, mooshed and frozen in a tin bread pan, taste absolutely delicious and we'll never miss the Haagen-Daz. 

For lunch today I am making something I've never made before: bocoles. Bocoles are an ancient Mexican dish made of masa mixed with refried beans ( I gotta read the label on those refried beans because who knows what La Rosita put in them)..you put in a little salt and a little baking powder, make tiny gorditas, and grill them, topping them with queso fresco, hot sauce, tomatoes, chopped cabbage or lettuce...they are about 2 inches across and they will be delicious. And if I knew exactly what excito-flavorings were put into those frijoles before they canned them, I'd feel absolutely secure about my lunch. Next time, frijoles from scratch!!!   YAZZYBEL

Things to Read

My book club is reading All the King's Men by Robert Penn Warren. When we were assigned it (I didnt vote for it) I thought, "That old thing. Why re-read it now?"

Well, I didn't read it then, though I read reviews and such.  Wasn't interested in politics at all. So now, I read it, and came upon it as a new thing and the main thing I felt upon reading it was--nostalgia.

So much of it was evocative of my youth--the upbringing of the kids and young folk, the attitudes toward women and girls, the expectations of all that the young men were going to look forward to a world of opportunity, the prejudices kindly and not-so-kindly towards black persons and poor persons. The hordes of uneducated plain people, men mostly, who supported and responded to the call of Willie Stark who was supposed to be Huey Long in disguise.

The weather in the novel even made me feel nostalgic for that time...(the forties and fifties, my time, though it is set in the thirties). The houses, the neighborhoods...the lighting on the streets, even...the farms and the country people more prevalent than they now are...The respect for the "Judges"...there were several in the book and they all had their important niches in that society.

I liked the hero in spite of his being a worthless fellow.  He did the right thing in the end and had a 'happy' ending with his lady love. And was good to take in his old father, who it turned out was not his father, who needed a home at the last. It was nice to see servants in the houses, quiet, busy, respectful people doing needed work. Anyway...the book is very worth reading.

"Florid and overwritten," I thought as I read it, but nonetheless I read on. And I do not always do that nowadays. I kept reading because I wanted to keep sharing in the protagonist's thoughts. Read  it.

I also want to recommend The Summer Kitchen by Louise Andrews Kent. Mrs Kent was a New England lady who conjured up "Mrs Appleyard." "Mrs. Appleyard" was a New England lady who liked to write and liked to cook and did a wonderful job of both.  There are any number of Mrs Appleyard books, so read them!!  This book is divided into May-June-July-August, with three chapters in each section, each detailing a summer event or activity with recipes included!! Pleasant even delightful reading. I just noticed that my book split apart when I opened it...it is falling into ruin. That is how I know I am 85 years old; that, and the fact that all my music is also gone to rack and ruin. French sonatinas and Debussy albums which I remember as fresh and new in their pastel covers have deteriorated into something a little scary when I realize that something similar must be happening to me.  That is the way of time, and of paper and of flesh. So they tell me....YAZZYBEL

A Day of Perfect Eating

Sometimes you can't cook anything wrong.

It usually comes from having a bunch of stuff about that you haven't been dealing with, and you've got the energy to work with it at last.  And you don't have the urge to go out and buy a lot of other stuff.

This morning I had a delicious tiny omelette of one egg with bacon bits rolled into it. I scrambled the egg in a bowl and added it to a coconut-oil-sprayed tiny skillet where it spread out to just the right depth, cooked, had the Hormel 'real bacon bits' shaken over it, rolled, and turned out and eaten. Very satisfying!!

Then at lunch I came into the house a bit late, but there was time to boil up some pieces of a raw cauliflower and 2 green onions....then to puree them in the blender, put one egg and 1/8 cup half and half into the saucepan, add puree, stir, and heat. I added a good dash of fines herbes...Yum yum and plenty left over for tomorrow.

I was hungry in three hours, so made a smallish sandwich of Boar's Head Low Sodium Roast Beef, mayo, and shredded iceberg lettuce..Very good.

Then I had boiled a sittin'-around potato this morning as I ate the omelette, so I made a super scrumptious potato salad . If I get hungry for a supper, I'll have  some of that. There is nothing better than potato salad if the proportions are right...so here is how I made it though the proportions will have to be your own.

One large Idaho baking potato, cut in two and boiled.  Peel it. Cut it into cubes in a bowl. Not too much mayonnaise.  One sweet pickle minced.  Some yellow mustard including the liquid that always comes out when you squeeze the bottle. Salt. Pepper. Minced white onion.  Boiled egg yolk that I had there wrapped in plastic for a couple of days. Yes, you can boil just the yolks of eggs if you have had to use the whites for something else. So there it is...oh yes...I like celery but not too crazy about it...but it adds crunch to potato salad so I like it in that...and I added dried parsley because it is raining and I didnt want to get any wetter by going out to pick some...I'd already gotten soaked by the hose when I watered earlier...who knew it was going to rain ever again??

And...I ate a brownie, the last frozen brownie of the recipe I made last week...thank goodness those are out of the way.  They were so absolutely wonderful that they reminded me of why I do not make them...but it was nice to taste them again. YAZZYBEL

One Year Has Passed By

Well, I was thinking about what to write about the first anniversary of Theo's passing. It's a big thing. So I'll ramble about a bit, if that's OK. My thoughts are not collected,  since I got sick  and have spent the large majority of the time since noontime yesterday lying down worrying or being asleep. I was going to visit Theo's burial site-ito today with a bouquet of flowers, but it is not meant to be. Manyana, say I with confidence; manyana.

You can see that I have forgotten how to make a tilde on here.

For today, I am just thinking about my husband. I am remembering the last week of his life, a bitter and frustrating one for both of us. Off to the hospital he must go, though he did not want to. And a change of direction, for they were going to send him home right away until his condition suddenly took a turn for the worse and they pronounced him moribund...not in so many words, but with dire enough words of their own...all saying: Watch out.

So he went, gave up the ghost, expired, passed away one year ago tonight at about ten thirty. "A year ago at this moment he was still alive," says the voice in one's brain, but we all, Theo and voice and I all know that his clock was ticking forward and it was just a matter of time.  And to the clock it doesn't matter.

The kids console themselves with the idea that it was all just a result of lifestyle choices that he made for the last thirty years...that he should die of kidney failure brought on by diabetes and its neglect. That it was inevitable..well, it's true, our deaths are inevitable...but he might have enjoyed a few more years. Maybe.

I 've told everyone that I've flunked Widowhood 101, because my year has gone by and I do not feel any more ready to "go on" than I did. But that is not true. I always have said after observing my own parents' end of life, that the first one who dies, dies as a married person.  The second one  dies a single person.  The work of this first year has been to find that single person who is surviving the trauma. So maybe I am not so far behind after all, maybe I have not flunked entirely even though I am not yet out 'in the world,' and still wondering what to do next.  But I now realize that that single person is here and I 've gotta take care of her the best I can. All of her. 

I was thinking of the best things I liked about my husband, and as I go over them I think they are about the best marriage advice one could ask for. Of course there are always negatives, and we won't deal with them today. But here were the positives about my husband.

1. He was the brightest person I have ever known, and was quite fearless in many respects.  He would go anywhere, (except into water), drive off into any weather, pitch a tent in any situation, and never worry at all about it.
2.  He had an incredible, funny sense of humor. Quirky. Quiet. Ever present.
3. He didnt believe in going into debt for things (it was even hard to get him to buy a house at first)...and we were in agreement in our attitudes about credit and so forth.
4.  He was perfectly neat and clean in his person. This is such a 'given' that it seems out of place to mention it in this list, but many men and women don't hold to the idea of the daily bath and it does make such a difference in the physical intimacy of marriage.
5. He was always agreeable to buying a bouquet of flowers when we did our supermarket shopping. He always wanted to come along so he could frown at olives and sardines and other food items out of the Oklahoma diet..but he never, not once, said no to the flowers and would even remind me that I wanted to get them.

Simple things. All were a matter of chance as to 'knowing' a person before you hook up...or was it a matter of instinct? One wonders. In those things, though, I was very lucky to have had him.  Very very lucky.

He once complained that I didnt appreciate him, and I think I confounded him (and myself) by saying, "Don't you think I appreciate you? You gave me my life."  And it was true, as I just realized that when I said the words to him.

He did give me my life, and my children, and all the things I now own and have, except for his physical self. He also gave me pains in the kazoo beyond recounting, but that is another story, the whole story of our life as we shared it. YAZZYBEL

Drinking Smoothies

Hello--

For the last few days I've been drinking smoothies. I do not care for the texture, generally, but if there are frozen elements in there, the frozen-ness makes them more acceptable, I find.

My first recipe included a nectarine, some frozen wild blueberries, some chard leaves, some kale leaves, some parsley, and some mint...all those leaves are from pots in my yard. And a little orange juice as liquifier.It was the best and the most beautiful, being a dark wine-color and very delicious!!

Next I made one with tomatoes, onion, cilatro, all the leaves mentioned above, and orange juice. It was a nice beige color and also was very delicious. I had a bunch left over and ate it again yesterday, though I supposed most of the vitamins fly out the window if it's in the refrigerator overnight.

Today I made Waldorf Salad smoothie, using apples (no peel as I dont think these are organic apples), celery including leaves, pecans, plus all the leaves above. It is pale green and beautiful but tastes a little boring I guess because apples are not the most flavorful fruit in the world. I used coconut water as the liquifier...ok but not flavorful. But I',m drinkin' it down.

The good thing is that, after you drink/eat one of these, you are not hungry until lunch time. It deeply satisfies more than just your taste buds. Your body is grateful not to have to do all the work of chewing, and it got to have all those greens plus apples and nuts and berries. And believe me, it can tell the difference!!! YAZZYBEL