Timeless Time

Good morning.

The strange thing about being a widow is realizing how having your partner nearby you was conducive to all sorts of civilized behavior. Especially with regard to time.

I was out on the patio leisurely sweeping up and I was struck with the strangest feeling that there was NO TIME left.   No time to bother with.  Nothing to hurry for.  Nothing to finish the job for.  Nobody knows what I am doing.  Nobody cares. Nobody has any claim on this moment nor what is going to happen in ten minutes, or in an hour or by this evening at sunset.

It's ten fifty four a.m., a bright and beautiful morning.  I normally would be thinking, and am still thinking, that pretty soon it will be time to fix lunch.  What do I have on hand?  Then I realize, it does not matter.  If it spoils, what I have on hand and cannot use, I can sequester it away in the waste can undetected.  I had five eggs that were at least five weeks old. I remember buying that batch of eggs when the dr's told me he would be coming home right away from the hospital...I took those eggs and pushed them gently through the fence to tumble down into the deep grasses near where the fox lives.  Nobody knows but me, and now you, what happened to those eggs.  Nobody cares.

Last night I made a supper and ate it, and as I was eating it I noticed that it was four o'clock in the afternoon.  I'd forgotten to notice that it wasn't really supper time, so I ate when I felt like it.  Surprise!  It was too early.  But I ate it anyway because I was hungry.

It was a delicious supper. First I quartered a huge potato that's been around here and put it to boil; then I sliced a zucchini and some onion, sprinkled on some marjoram and a spray of olive oil, and  put them in the oven.  When the potato was done I put it onto a bowl and got a batch of kale out of the refrigerator and boiled the tender parts in the potato water.  Then I put everything on a plate, mashed up the potato, mixed everything up, and put on some salt and pepper.  Well, it was delicious and my tummy didn't know it was only four p.m., and I ate nothing else after that so I guess my tummy was right.

I have a lot of potato, kale and zucchini to eat tomorrow if I like. I may get a taco out, for lunch, if I am hungry.  Tonight I have a casserole of tuna, mushroom soup, and pasta that I made the other day.  Remember those? My husband never liked tuna fish anything. I liked the idea of having one on hand.  And there it is.  I may have it for supper, whenever that may be.  YAZZYBEL