Goodbye, Theodore.
You took off on the biggest voyage of all, night before last. The whole last day of your life, you were unable to talk at all, but the doctor told me to talk to you of happy things.
So I did. I talked--it seemed that we talked--about our whole life together. The car trips that we both loved so much, big ones and little ones. The beautiful parks we'd visited, and the beautiful sights we have seen together. The cold rocky seashores of California and Oregon and Washington, the walks in the Sierras and the hikes on Trail Ridge Road in the Olympics... And I told you how much you opened up my life as we lived together. You gave me more gifts than you knew, more gifts than I even realized at the time. All the joys and all the pains were gifts and we both became stronger in them.
As I spoke, your face would shift and respond, and I felt that you were really participating in the visions I was recalling. The talking of happy things was powerful; we seemed to be in some shared golden space that encompassed us both. By night I was talked out and you were getting tired.
I am glad we had that day together, Theodore. Thanks for listening and sharing. YAZZYBEL
Friday, July 26, 2013
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
La Vida Loca
Good morning!
What creatures of habit we are, what creatures of custom.
It has always been our custom as a couple that my husband handled the funds. His desire was to handle them completely, everything in his hands. Since he was so capable and so finicking in his accounting, I couldn't have left things in better hands. He wasn't even willing to sit down for a month to month heart to heart or accounting of how things were, where the money went or should go.
Suddenly, things have changed. And it wasn't so sudden, either. I noticed some perturbing changes last year, and for sure for the last six months I have beent trying to effect some changes in his old cash and carry methods, in which lots of money can disappear out the door without being accounted for. But he was so good at writing things down and at knowing just how things were, always...until now....
My husband is in the hospital and has been hospitalized several times over the last few months. In between times, he seemed fine and would want to keep control over his affairs just as usual. Right now, it's become obvious that this hadnt been happening for some time even though his preferences were the same.
We have had notices from a collection agency! A collection agency!! His family and my family would be rolling over in their graves to hear that. I am dealing with hospital charges and bills that I wouldnt even have been aware of if he were on top of things.
I tell you these things because it is important to realize that life can change overnight, practically. And it's not possible to be always aware of everything as it progresses. Even as I wrote the last sentence, a kidney doctor called up to tell me that my husband is not in good shape...he was more serious than anyone has ever been ever before...discussing this with me.
Even if my husband gets better and comes home, he will not be himself completely, probably. Things change. And that's how it is, with this vida loca. YAZZYBEL
What creatures of habit we are, what creatures of custom.
It has always been our custom as a couple that my husband handled the funds. His desire was to handle them completely, everything in his hands. Since he was so capable and so finicking in his accounting, I couldn't have left things in better hands. He wasn't even willing to sit down for a month to month heart to heart or accounting of how things were, where the money went or should go.
Suddenly, things have changed. And it wasn't so sudden, either. I noticed some perturbing changes last year, and for sure for the last six months I have beent trying to effect some changes in his old cash and carry methods, in which lots of money can disappear out the door without being accounted for. But he was so good at writing things down and at knowing just how things were, always...until now....
My husband is in the hospital and has been hospitalized several times over the last few months. In between times, he seemed fine and would want to keep control over his affairs just as usual. Right now, it's become obvious that this hadnt been happening for some time even though his preferences were the same.
We have had notices from a collection agency! A collection agency!! His family and my family would be rolling over in their graves to hear that. I am dealing with hospital charges and bills that I wouldnt even have been aware of if he were on top of things.
I tell you these things because it is important to realize that life can change overnight, practically. And it's not possible to be always aware of everything as it progresses. Even as I wrote the last sentence, a kidney doctor called up to tell me that my husband is not in good shape...he was more serious than anyone has ever been ever before...discussing this with me.
Even if my husband gets better and comes home, he will not be himself completely, probably. Things change. And that's how it is, with this vida loca. YAZZYBEL
Monday, July 15, 2013
A Price Above Rubies The Prequel
Good morning!
The title of this piece was originally to refer to the Book of Ruth, but I think that the better reference will be to the description of a good woman in the Book of Proverbs.
Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
My daughter-in-law came into the house, and she wasted not her time.
She picked up a cloth and soap on her way in, and washed the countertops in the kitchen right away. Who knew they needed it?
The next day we arose and she said, "Let's begin," and we went into the back room where my papers had proliferated and reproduced themselves (seemingly) for about three or four years, and we began.
I sat down and she placed containers nearby or in my lap, and as we went on she took things for :
1. Giving to the Amvets
2. Giving to my sister
3. Keeping
4. For her to take
5. Grindables
6. Trash
And we proceeded along that line for four or five days straight, eventually moving into two or three other rooms.
Before she left, she utilized the cartons we've had out in the garage, packed up her share of things, taped, stacked boxes, cleaned the kitchen floor on her hands and knees, cleaned the bathrooms, floor and walls...she brought my husband a hundred glasses of tea with ice which he requires a number of times a day.
She only had a couple of times on her own to get out of our troubles and share some relaxation with a friend. Thank God she had that! For, the night before she was to leave at four-thirty a.m., my husband fell. We all went to the ER but at ten she brought me home and went back to sit with my husband until he was sent home at one o'clock. As a final thoughtfulness, she called her friend to do the task I was going to do, which was to take her te air
The title of this piece was originally to refer to the Book of Ruth, but I think that the better reference will be to the description of a good woman in the Book of Proverbs.
Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
ב
11The heart of
her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of
spoil.
ג
12She will do
him good and not evil all the days of her life.
ד
13She seeketh
wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
ה
14She is like
the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
ו
15She riseth
also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to
her maidens.
ז
16She
considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a
vineyard.
ח
17She girdeth
her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
ט
18She perceiveth
that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
י
19She layeth her
hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
כ
20She stretcheth
out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
ל
21She is not
afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed
with scarlet.
מ
22She maketh
herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
נ
23Her husband is
known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
ס
24She maketh
fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
ע
25Strength and
honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
פ
26She openeth
her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
צ
27She looketh
well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
ק
28Her children
arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth
her.
ר
29Many daughters
have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
ש
30Favour
is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that
feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
ת
31Give her of
the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.
My daughter-in-law came into the house, and she wasted not her time.
She picked up a cloth and soap on her way in, and washed the countertops in the kitchen right away. Who knew they needed it?
The next day we arose and she said, "Let's begin," and we went into the back room where my papers had proliferated and reproduced themselves (seemingly) for about three or four years, and we began.
I sat down and she placed containers nearby or in my lap, and as we went on she took things for :
1. Giving to the Amvets
2. Giving to my sister
3. Keeping
4. For her to take
5. Grindables
6. Trash
And we proceeded along that line for four or five days straight, eventually moving into two or three other rooms.
Before she left, she utilized the cartons we've had out in the garage, packed up her share of things, taped, stacked boxes, cleaned the kitchen floor on her hands and knees, cleaned the bathrooms, floor and walls...she brought my husband a hundred glasses of tea with ice which he requires a number of times a day.
She only had a couple of times on her own to get out of our troubles and share some relaxation with a friend. Thank God she had that! For, the night before she was to leave at four-thirty a.m., my husband fell. We all went to the ER but at ten she brought me home and went back to sit with my husband until he was sent home at one o'clock. As a final thoughtfulness, she called her friend to do the task I was going to do, which was to take her te air
Do Tragedy and Indignation go together?
Our nation is obsessed with race, and the race question, and the race problem
This week a verdict was handed down in the George Zimmerman trial. He was acquitted of Murder Two for the death of Trayvon Martin.
I consider this verdict to be a just one.
At the most basic, the prosecution did not prove its case. The jury wisely abstained from judging on a second angle, the manslaughter one...why was that even in there,-- but for to give an "out" for those who knew that there was no Murder Two but felt that they must convict George Zimmerman of something.
At the outset of this incident, Al Sharpton and Big Ed played the indignation card right out in front. They lined up the bereaved parents of Trayvon Martin in front of the television camera and had us watch them grieve. Of course they grieved. And of course they had grievances. Al Sharpton and Big Ed had indignation, and they played it for all it was worth. Shame on them.
Poor foolish George Zimmerman trying to play cop. Poor foolish Trayvon Martin trying to play bad black boy in a hoodie, running around in the shadows of a strange neighborhood. The elements of our nation's tragedy are right there, where one young man lost his life and the other--well, we don't yet know what he has lost, do we? Time will tell us that.
It has the elements of classical tragedy in that each young man had the strength and freedom of youth, and that each lost in the same moment and plummeted to earth. I just don't reconcile what I see in this case with the attitude of indignation that I see played over it. It's like being indignant with a steam roller, for rolling over things. No, we have to stop, weep with the parents of the lost youth, pray for the future of the living one, and pray and think of our nation as we go through these incidents day by day, over and over, until we learn. YAZZYBEL
This week a verdict was handed down in the George Zimmerman trial. He was acquitted of Murder Two for the death of Trayvon Martin.
I consider this verdict to be a just one.
At the most basic, the prosecution did not prove its case. The jury wisely abstained from judging on a second angle, the manslaughter one...why was that even in there,-- but for to give an "out" for those who knew that there was no Murder Two but felt that they must convict George Zimmerman of something.
At the outset of this incident, Al Sharpton and Big Ed played the indignation card right out in front. They lined up the bereaved parents of Trayvon Martin in front of the television camera and had us watch them grieve. Of course they grieved. And of course they had grievances. Al Sharpton and Big Ed had indignation, and they played it for all it was worth. Shame on them.
Poor foolish George Zimmerman trying to play cop. Poor foolish Trayvon Martin trying to play bad black boy in a hoodie, running around in the shadows of a strange neighborhood. The elements of our nation's tragedy are right there, where one young man lost his life and the other--well, we don't yet know what he has lost, do we? Time will tell us that.
It has the elements of classical tragedy in that each young man had the strength and freedom of youth, and that each lost in the same moment and plummeted to earth. I just don't reconcile what I see in this case with the attitude of indignation that I see played over it. It's like being indignant with a steam roller, for rolling over things. No, we have to stop, weep with the parents of the lost youth, pray for the future of the living one, and pray and think of our nation as we go through these incidents day by day, over and over, until we learn. YAZZYBEL
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Never Too Many Roses, or Cherries!
The pink roses had their moment and now the white rose bush has given up her beauty for us.
I like to call this spray of multiple rose blossoms "The Queen and her Handmaidens." The Queen blooms the first and is surrounded by multiple buds. This time we were lucky, and the handmaidens burst into bloom becore the Queen died. The Queen, the original bloom, is the middle one of the three in front...a huge crape-paper bloom. The others came quickly; sometimes they dont even all make it...but they did. The rose to the right was on the same bush but was a lovely solo rose....they are all white with a creamy rosy undertone toward the center. Lovely!!!
And, as for the cherries, you know how you have to buy too many at the supermarket? They come in huge packages that defy easy separation. So I got a million cherries, in a household where only one person eats them. I got creative. I made "Cherry Cornbread." Just use your favorite cornbread recipe, add a bunch of pitted cherries cut in half to the batter, and bake as usual. Delicious with butter. Just do not skimp on the salt. All this salt-skimping is ruining the taste of some dishes. The sweetness of the cherries needs the full complement of salt in the batter as a complement. Just delicious!! Try it~ YAZZYBEL
Saturday, July 13, 2013
Continuation of the Woman Above Rubies
Some how I got cut off the end of the blog.
To continue. At five in the morning her friend Anne-Marie arrived to pick Lesa up and they left. That was a final blessing for me, not having to go down to the airport in the dark and drive home on the freeway. God Bless Lesa and Anne-Marie!
All of this does not describe the cheerfulness, the practicality, the strength, in the face of weakness and aged-ness that were shown by my daughter-in-law to us. There is no substitute for any of it, anywhere.
I believe I wrote earlier in my blog, if not on Facebook, how gratifying it was to see my sons working together clearing out the garage and bringing order out of chaos out there....this part of it was for ME, and I will never be able to express my gratitude to a fine woman, for a gracious act of kindness and industry. YAZZYBEL
To continue. At five in the morning her friend Anne-Marie arrived to pick Lesa up and they left. That was a final blessing for me, not having to go down to the airport in the dark and drive home on the freeway. God Bless Lesa and Anne-Marie!
All of this does not describe the cheerfulness, the practicality, the strength, in the face of weakness and aged-ness that were shown by my daughter-in-law to us. There is no substitute for any of it, anywhere.
I believe I wrote earlier in my blog, if not on Facebook, how gratifying it was to see my sons working together clearing out the garage and bringing order out of chaos out there....this part of it was for ME, and I will never be able to express my gratitude to a fine woman, for a gracious act of kindness and industry. YAZZYBEL
Sunday, July 7, 2013
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