Old Year Out

This is the last day of the Old Year, 2014. Seems as if it was just a few days since it was the New Year. It was my first full year alone without Theodore. And it still seems strange to be alone. I don't know why I haven't adjusted better.

I spend the morning changing some things around in the kitchen. Then, at 11 I dashed off to the movies because I wanted to see Into the Woods, and figured if I went then, it would still be light when I got out...otherwise I'd have to wait till 3 and it would indeed have been dark when I came out.

After I got to the theater I found that I'd mistaken the time; the movie started at 1:40, not 1:10...how boring. Nothing to do so I bought some popcorn and an Icee of cola flavor.  Boring. Did not finish either.  There were about NINE previews preceding the movie when the film finally started. Boring, boring boring.

But I liked the movie, full of flaws though it was.  It is also full of truth about life and people...so it brought me to tears from time to time. 

I bought a torta de res at the little Kotija  on the way home, and thought that I'd begin the Whole 30 (with modifications) tomorrow, January 1st.  But I ended up eating only the meat and the lettuce as it was...the bread is sitting there, nice roll though it was.

So for tonight, the I Ching, which I do every New Year's Eve or the next day....and lots of thinking about the time past and my new resolutions, of which the modified Whole 30 will be just one.  Welcome, 2015!!! YAZZYBEL

What to Eat at the Old Folks' Home

Yes, my dears, we've all seen the glossy brochures from the 'best' of the residences for seniors.  They are filled with pictures of  fifty five year olds who are leading glamourous lives in "Luxury" surroundings, swimming and drinking champagne in large blue pools,and ordering meals like there is no tomorrow,--meals prepared and planned by a chef.

Yes, a chef, my dears...

Let me say this. I never led a luxury life even when we were in the chips. And the only chef I ever had was myself (aside from my fastidious and discriminating best-cook-ever mother, in my early years).  I am that chef still. I decide the menu and one thing I have definitely decided on is this:

NO PACKAGED FOODS OF ANY KIND.

All those luxury places, with chef-planned meals, are, I am quite sure, serving up meals --however beautiful they look--that are quite poisonous, especially for old people. Well, for anybody, but right now I am thinking of old people.

So, if I ran the Old Folks' Home, here is what we'd eat.

For breakfast, we would have organic non GMO oatmeal and fruit. Period.  Even if we had to order the oatmeal from Europe. For the sake of my favorite food, we could have a piece of toast (white of course) with butter.

Coffee and tea would be allowed, but if you wanted orange juice you'd have to eat the orange.  These suggestions (mandates) are from the latest of health and dietary discoveries, and they are surprisingly unanimous in their findings.

OK, could there be sugar? Why not.  We're old, we deserve it. Our teeth are already about as shot as they're going to get. But if we have diabetes we could only have saccharin, the pure chemical, as a sweetener instead.  Saccharin is sweet enough to please us a bit, but NOT full of the additives and extra chemicals that affect our brain. Nobody who eats a saccharin-sweetened product would ever be confused as to what it is. This knowledge is important; it reflects what our brain/body knows.

Could we have milk? Well, heavy cream is so fat-heavy that the amount of milk solids is very very small...so, even on a dairy-free diet it couldn't hurt to put one teaspoonful in a cup of coffee. Argue with me if you must.

Luncheon will be served promptly at noon.  "Anyone who is late will not get fruit cup." That's a quote from High Anxiety, one of my favorite nutty movies. You won't get fruit cup in any case, but you will get a first course. My reasons for having a first course are these: it slows down the meal (everyone complains that three hours are spent on preparation and the meal is wolfed down in ten or fifteen minutes. If you have a first course, the meal is immediately made more leisurely.

What to have?  There are myriads of great first courses, but I think the best ones will focus on using lots of vegetables in some form, because everyone is ravenous and will eat them.  Bruschetta with tomatoes, a plate with asparagus and lemon, broccoli with a brown butter sauce...lots of ideas come to mind.  Shake out your napkin and dig in. You can always have soup (half a cup is the usual serving standard), or salad with plenty of celery, cucumbers, and so forth to add different vitamins to it....

After the first course will come the "second plate," where the main protein offering will be served. Any meat, fish or fowl accompanied by some rice or potatoes or Italian-grown wheat pasta, plus another vegetable or two. This course will be the main protein of the day, so it should be adequate for the needs of the elderly, who need more protein than one might think.

Dessert will be fruit. Yes, fruit.  Here is a fried apple dish I made last night...sliced apples including the peel, simmered in a little clarified butter or ghee, with a couple of dates cut up, sprinkled with real cinnamon and a few specks of nutmeg.  Add a very few grains of salt and your recipe is enhanced for natural sweetness. It's true.

How good that dish is! There are other good dishes like berries cooked with arrowroot, that will make you think of pie without the crust!  Or, put on the crust in the form of a small triangle of crispy baked pie dough to garnish the top. Yum.  In the summer, sliced strawberries with balsamic vinegar...

At my old folks' home,e veryone will want a snooze after that meal, but by four they'll be up for tea, and tea will be served.  This is the time to bring out the cake or cookies or other pastry offering. Just enough to remind us that there will be a heaven.

At five thirty, supper will be served. "Breakfast for Supper" was always a favorite in our old age, so you 'll get your eggs now. There 's an infinite variety of egg recipes from boiled to baked..all good.  And one or two pieces of toast, a dab of jam to make it all worth while...More fruit if desired but not too much.  

And that's it. Unvarying from day to day, but always good. Nothing pre-cooked, pre-packaged, or instant. Everything from scratch every time. Does that not sound heavenly? If they could promise me that at some aspiring "Manor," I'd put my name on the list tomorrow, give up my chattels, and GO.

Yes, I would.  YAZZYBEL

December 20, 1957

Today's the 57th anniversary of Theodore's and my wedding marriage.

We'd been living in Berkeley, and we drive over to Reno for the occasion. Theo chose Reno...so thither we went in his '52 Chevy.  We left on the Saturday in cold, bright weather, and returned the next day in a snowstorm, over Donner Pass.

I'd bought a pretty ivory faille suit with rabbit fur collar of the same color. And I'd had my hair cut and curled...We got a wedding picture made in Reno, so there I am looking very unfamiliar, with curly short hair around my face. And Theodore looked handsome in a dark blue suit and tie.

We were married by the famous Judge Beemer, of Reno,in the courthouse, at about four p.m.  Judge Beemer was a large handsome man with a shock of gray hair, who I later learned was famous for marrying so many eloping movie stars.  We went out to get our photograph taken afterward, and then went to dinner.

The next morning we arose and departed for Berkeley, amidst dire warnings about the weather on the Pass.  But we plunged on, as usual, and as usual, Theodore never let me down.  At one point we were being followed by several cars as we drove through blinding snow, and as we charged onward, later I saw five cars in a meadow off the road, where the lead driver had missed staying on the road and driven off into nowhere followed by his faithful sheep.

There's a place on that road where you are in the mountains and then go up over a rise and below you is the East Bay, and Berkeley. It was all woods in those days, and little villages, and little winding roads. In the summer you'd come out of intense heat and drop thankfully into the blissful cool below.  On that winter day, we came out of the snow into the gray, rainwashed familiarity of the Berkeley Hills, and down into the lower depths where we lived. It was such a blessing.

Our whole marriage was not that tranquil. Wish I could say that it was!!  But at the last of our lives together, we did come up over a steep and terrible rise, and descend together into a place of tranquility and peace.  Might everyone's Christmas and New Year's wish contain that hope! YAZZYBEL

Waldorf Salad

For supper I made Waldorf Salad. No dressing.

If it has no dressing, is it really Waldorf Salad? Or just a bunch of cut-up stuff in a bowl?

The basics of Waldorf Salad, leaving aside the question of dressings, are: apples, nuts, celery. My nut of choice is pecans, but walnuts are good too.

You can add things to Waldorf Salad and it only makes it better. In England they added green grapes and called it California Salad.  Green grapes  make it sweeter, which is nice.

You can add chopped dates, which makes it richer and sweeter both.

You can add avocadoes, which makes it blander but pretty.

You can add strawberries, which makes it downright exotic and threatens to turn it into Fruit Salad.

You can add cut up orange slices but see above.

You can add pineapple, ditto.

Or just add them all and eat up. It's delicious! 

YAZZYBEL  oh..I forgot to write my haiku. Shall we try it with Waldorf Salad?

Apples, cel'ry, nuts
We call it Waldorf Salad
It's really yummy!

(arf, arf)

Poem a Day?

Imperfect Things


I like things imperfect,
Things bravely started
Then left behind as the maker
Started something else;
I like things that don't quite rhyme,
Or scan: things that are a little off.
Dissonance in music, the right dissonance,
Is the best music to me. It rings
Somewhere where perfection and formality
Lie silent and unheard.
I like the lopsided tree, the branch
Bent in the wrong direction; I like 
The last dog left in the pound whose mates
Have all been taken in preference.
I like the painting gone askew but signed 
By a loving painter anyway.
"Glory be to God for dappled things,"
Said the poet, and when I read it 
I had to read it twice. "He thinks like me,"
Thought teen-aged I. Nothing is perfect;
Nothing is all right; no edges are true; 
Things are not square. Oh, yes!

YAZZYBEL

Early December Rumbles

Hello!

I have been frantically searching on the computer for a poem I wrote.  Searching in real life also, for the concrete version. (Sounds heavy, doesn't it?)

The trouble with looking on the computer is that you are staring at an amorphous gray mass and sticking it with a pin, fruitlessly.

The earth poem should be easier to find, but even thought I KNOW (maybe) that it's in a white ring-binder with big brown and green stripes on the outside, I can't find that either. Ah well. Shall keep looking.

Lots of things to do in December. I have my bills to pay, Christmas presents to worry about (strange and bad that that should be a WORRY), dr's appts to keep, donuts to avoid,...but no singing lessons or singing to do.  I cancelled the lessons till the New Year.  A little voice in my head says, maybe for ever. Whatever kept me singing daily for10 months seems to have taken off, leaving me voiceless and unmusical. Ah well, we'll see as time goes on.

My eating regimen of Whole30  is now on Day Eight.  I looked at the array of goodies and doughnuts at church yesterday with deep indifference. Can you imagine what a step that is? From Craving Insanity on Day 4, to Deep Indifference on Day 7. Incredible. It means that I am getting to the point where I will no longer look at sugary things as Food.  

I was there once before, on the Atkins in the 1970's. I could look at a three-layer cake frosted with a curly ocean of fluffy white peaks with perfect detachment.  I went on the Atkins in October, and by early spring I had the most gorgeous knees ever. All the puffy "dirty-water" had exited my tissues and I was a lean mean good-looking gal. I was about fifty then. Who knows what it'll mean when I am eighty-five as I now am.  Dried up? Shriveled? I'll still welcome those knees. YAZZYBEL

Easy Waldorf Salad

Well, I've started on the "Whole 30", an eating plan devised by the Hartwigs, husband and wife.  Demons that they are.

It isn't as if I'd been deprived of food before. And I do find elimination diets the easiest way for me to alter my food consumption.  But, with all of those, there'd always been a little OUT, a corner of former bliss and ease, with which you could manipulate the diet for youself.  As, in Atkins, which is quite straight-laced, you can have your teaspoon of heavy cream and your packet of sweetener in a cup of coffee...and that's heaven after a day of nothing but meat and veg.

On this regimen, there's no recourse. No dairy at all, even butter. You can make ghee, which in my case comes out imperfect, a little opaque...does that mean I should throw it out and start all over with another two cubes of butter...? Why ghee, and not butter? you well may ask.  Because butter has milk solids in it (that's what tastes so good plus the salt.) When you make ghee, the milk solids burn off leaving you, after a lot of manipulation, with a clear amber colored liquid that solidifies like a stone in the refrigerator. You cook with it.

Read the book...It Starts with Food is the name of it.  The Hartwigs will tell you all you want to know and more.  This diet is for health, not for weight-loss, yet when I weighed at my diet group I'd lost 2 1/2 pounds in 5 days.  I'll have to do something if I keep losing at that rate...don't know what, yet. The Hartwigs are very young, judging by their pictures, and maybe they don't know that 85 year old boneless ladies don't need to lose weight that fast.

I had phantasies of donuts, cookies, bread, cakes, for the first four days. Day five was better. Today they're back (the phantasies, not the cakes, alas.) We just need to try. I had a doctor visit on day five, and he was pleased to learn about the plan. He encouraged me to stick to it and then we'll test me at the end of the month (that's the 30 in the plan) to see what's become of my "numbers," the be-all and end-all of US medicine nowadays.

You get primitive on this plan. Waldorf Salad has been reduced to a half-apple, some celery sticks and a few pecans eaten out of hand. I could put it in a bowl with some of my homemade mayo, which you can have since you're allowed olive oil and eggs...and salt. But why elaborate it? Simple is good. You get so hungry that it's easy to kid yourself that an apple, a stick of celery, and a few nuts is a Waldorf Salad. And it's GOOD FOR YOU.....YAZZYBEL