Good morning. Here are some tips for starting the New Year right. I've planned for some time to make a blog post on each of these subjects, but the time never seems right. What could be righter than to do it now, while the year is new and you're in the mood to listen?
How to Buy Socks
For winter, buy all black socks. For summer, buy all white socks. Buy them all of the same style and of the same brand. You may be tempted to get brown sox or navy socks under the impression that black and brown or navy and brown do not go together. Nonsense. No subtle color improvements could begin to compensate with the loss of one of a pair of brown or blue sox, in which case you'll have to use one black one anyway and look like a goose.
My present socks are of the Hue brand, ribbed cotton anklets. They do not have any elastic so do not press on the foot or leg and are quite comfortable. For summer you'll be tempted to get beige socks or even, as I foolishly did, pale gray and medium gray socks both. Naturally, I go about with one pale gray and one medium gray paired together, and nobody has commented yet. But save yourself trouble, and just get white. Lots of time in summer you'll go sockless, of course, and that's the best and thriftiest way of all.
How to Use the Toilet
Yes, these basic tips are necessary even for those who have lived a long time in civilization. Especially for us, perhaps...
The first thing to remember is to keep the lid closed at all times that the toilet is not in use. It is not pretty to see a yawning bowl when you look at it. The second thing is this: after you have used the toilet, move both lid and seat up and down looking underneath everything, to make sure things are as neat as you can probably leave them. Bathroom stains of any sort are an anathema, and while we are married we can ascribe them to the grossness of men, but when we are single, there's nobody to blame but ourselves. When everything is neat and clean, then close the lid.
How to Drive the Freeway
Being many years a Californian, I am still astounded at how many people do not know how to drive on the freeway. Let us assume that there are four or five lanes going your way. The extreme right lane as you see it is the getting-off lane, and is the only lane in which you are permitted to drive slower than the speed limit (65, at the present time, in California). Sometimes you are not sure whether you're in the getting off lane or not, but if you are to the right side of a line of squares on the pavement, you are getting off for sure. Do not change your mind at the last minute; it's terribly dangerous.
The next lane to the left of the getting-off lane is the might-be-getting-off lane, and in this lane you may be excused for a little slowness or temporary hesitancy while making up your mind. But 65 is still the rule of the day here.
One over to the left, you must go faster than 65. This is lane 3. You don't have to go much faster than 65, but you do have to move a little. This is the lane that causes all the problems coming up to San Diego from Chula Vista, because all the Tijuana people are on it and they mostly do not know that it is not okay to go 45 on the freeway, especially if you are not in the extreme right-hand lane.
In lane 4, you are expected to drive seventy or seventy five at least, taking advantage of open space to pick up some territory. And in lane 5, the sky's the limit within reason. (And sometimes not.) Many people are afraid of lanes 4 and 5, but really they are the safest lanes usually, as the best drivers are usually there if they have any distance to go at all.
You should use your turn signals on the freeway at all times when maneuvering from one lane to another, because people really do watch and really do yield when they see your intentions, and sometimes that can be terribly important.
How to Make a Cup of Tea
I do not need to tell you how to make a cup of tea, because George Orwell already did that perfectly.I remember having read that essay long ago and have never deviated from his principles except that I do use tea bags and I don't think they are ideal.
I had another How-to to add, but have forgotten what it was. Perhaps my New Year's Resolution should have been: remember things. I did do the I Ching on New Year's Eve...I got "Chien: The Creative Principle"; I could have received no better advice. The gist of creativity, it seems, is, "Work, work, work." The Superior Man busies himself from dawn to dusk. So says the I Ching and it is never wrong. YAZZYBEL
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