Air Castles

Good morning!

When I was a child, we moved a lot.  From the beginning I loved "houses," the arranging of them, the living in them, the imagining of the ones in books (and I had no frame of reference here so put all my girl-characters into houses where we lived or had lived previously), and I liked the idea of having "another house," so I had the second home idea way before the nouveaux riches of the late 1990's and 2000's!

When I was small, the "other house" could be that of my grandparents who always lived close enough for easy visits.  In the last years, I have wanted another house in Iowa, or south Texas, or both.  And would like a house in Colorado or the Sierras here in California.  Not a big one; a cabin would do.  In the meantime, I have moved from fairly spacious homes to a very small one that is holding--I finally came to realize-- all the accoutrements of these alternate houses in its cramped space.  Not a comfortable way to live.

I've harped about my clothes and how I need to cut them down.  But I don't do much about it aside from giving to charity a bag of clothes every week or so.  Now, yesterday, talking to the doctor at Kaiser about my husband's condition, I realize (in the words, "You are not going anywhere right now, ") that this is IT.  No mountain cabin, no little house or condo at a beach on Padre Island, no air-conditioned house with tree-shaded patio and swimming pool in south Texas, no pied-a-terre in the Bay Area--just here.  Here on Fairway Court with a too-small house and a too-large yard ("You are not to be doing any yard work," said the doctor to Theodore ) and I must deal with it.

Nobody's coming to deal with my stuff.  I must do it. I must start the Great Winnowing and make it happen, now.  Antiques I have been cherishing "for the kids,"  really must be sold if I can sell them.  Ditto all those sets of sterling. Yes, I have sets. My French stove (Thonet) must be sold . My giant piano should go and be replaced with a small one.  Some of my too-many dressers should go. Dressers are out now, anyway, did you know? If you do your closets right, you do not need a dresser.  And as for dishes--Lordy! Out, damned spots of beauty! Go!

Will any of this be accomplished? Yes, in time of course it will. And if not by me, who? And I will be left like my mother's mother, who lost her whole household goods in a big fire before I was born, with very little on this earth when I pass.  I guess that is the best way to go.  And my air castles (which I'll still be building on wakeful nights) can be furnished with the things that once I did own, on this earth. That'll be okay.  YAZZYBEL