Good morning!
When I was a child, we moved a lot. From the beginning I loved "houses," the arranging of them, the living in them, the imagining of the ones in books (and I had no frame of reference here so put all my girl-characters into houses where we lived or had lived previously), and I liked the idea of having "another house," so I had the second home idea way before the nouveaux riches of the late 1990's and 2000's!
When I was small, the "other house" could be that of my grandparents who always lived close enough for easy visits. In the last years, I have wanted another house in Iowa, or south Texas, or both. And would like a house in Colorado or the Sierras here in California. Not a big one; a cabin would do. In the meantime, I have moved from fairly spacious homes to a very small one that is holding--I finally came to realize-- all the accoutrements of these alternate houses in its cramped space. Not a comfortable way to live.
I've harped about my clothes and how I need to cut them down. But I don't do much about it aside from giving to charity a bag of clothes every week or so. Now, yesterday, talking to the doctor at Kaiser about my husband's condition, I realize (in the words, "You are not going anywhere right now, ") that this is IT. No mountain cabin, no little house or condo at a beach on Padre Island, no air-conditioned house with tree-shaded patio and swimming pool in south Texas, no pied-a-terre in the Bay Area--just here. Here on Fairway Court with a too-small house and a too-large yard ("You are not to be doing any yard work," said the doctor to Theodore ) and I must deal with it.
Nobody's coming to deal with my stuff. I must do it. I must start the Great Winnowing and make it happen, now. Antiques I have been cherishing "for the kids," really must be sold if I can sell them. Ditto all those sets of sterling. Yes, I have sets. My French stove (Thonet) must be sold . My giant piano should go and be replaced with a small one. Some of my too-many dressers should go. Dressers are out now, anyway, did you know? If you do your closets right, you do not need a dresser. And as for dishes--Lordy! Out, damned spots of beauty! Go!
Will any of this be accomplished? Yes, in time of course it will. And if not by me, who? And I will be left like my mother's mother, who lost her whole household goods in a big fire before I was born, with very little on this earth when I pass. I guess that is the best way to go. And my air castles (which I'll still be building on wakeful nights) can be furnished with the things that once I did own, on this earth. That'll be okay. YAZZYBEL
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