Sunday and no Church

As I re-read yesterday's blog, I was left with an impression that I want to correct.  In no way did I make any unselfish decisions.  All my decisions along the way have been selfish in that they were a path to the survival of me and mine.  And the positive tone at the end of the essay means to say: here I am, and thank God for it all. For the loss of what I had (if it can ever be lost) (and if I ever had it) and for what I have gained.

I am not happy to be living on Fairway Court in Chula Vista, particularly, for Fairway Court in Chula Vista is not a particularly great place to live if we compare it to living in Central San Diego. I miss the easy connection conversation in day to day matters with people who are educated and have a view of life that compares with my own.  They are hard to come by for me here; I know they exist, I just don't know them and I don't run into them at the grocery store.  I think I came here too late to make a place for myself that is comfortable.  I also think that Chula Vista (the old part, where we live) has been and is being sacrificed to the economic and political gears that are grinding away at our areas that border Mexico.  There are people (who don't live here) who think it's cute to have your main streets peppered with  persons who make their living by tossing heavy signs around in the air for advertising.  I happen to think that it is not quaint, but horrible to have to earn a living that way and it says little for our culture to tolerate it.  I don't think it is charming or funny for all our business signs to be en espanol as we drive along Third Ave. or Broadway. If I wanted to live in Tijuana I would move there.  Haven't had to; Tijuana has moved here.

That said, I will say that the bees and hummingbirds are happier in our yard than I have ever seen in other parts of San Diego.  Plants grow astoundingly well.  The sun is as benign and pleasant as it could be.  A very chill wind blows onto our high elevation lot, directly in from Point Mugu--or is it Point Conception--all summer long, lending us natural air conditioning that almost never fails us.

And if I hadn't moved here, I never would have been writing my magnum opus, One Hundred Views of Fairway Court (thank you, Hiroshige)...which I only discontinued because it seemed to be rather negative and carping instead of doing what I wanted it to.  It needs to be shaken out and dusted off.  It is time to be here, to be here now. YAZZYBEL