That's my chihuahua, Listy, up there peeking out of the sofa covers. She is a master of rooting in and cuddling down. Some days that's the way she'd rather be, now that she is 98 years old. Her twin sister and littermate, Birdy, is a little less compulsive about hunkering down, but she's up there on that sofa too, you can bet.
That's the way I feel today. I have been dealing, in my mind, with issues of aging.
What do we do when one horse of this two-horse shay breaks down? Are we prepared, with a step-by-step earthquake type plan, to launch our little operation into a different mode, and pretty rapidly at that?
Most people think that they will call 911, and that things will proceed from there without our having to "do" anything, make a decision, or think things out. Not always true, my friends.
Sometimes things go grinding along in a slow, monumental corrosive manner, and gradually we, one or the other or both, get into the state where we both need help, and pretty quick--and neither of us is in condition to deal with our situation. That is quite natural for old age it seems.
Ideally, we are five sisters and we should all be living within a buggy-ride of each other. We should be able to arrive with a basket full of good things and all the extra towels and sheets in the house, at the home of the one who needs help. And take charge when the needy need a rest. Reality is that we are five sisters who all live very far apart. This is because we were raised in a home where "the man" decided where we would live..."They had to move because of his (job, family, old home)," and off the woman would go with kids, kits, kats and kittens, and settle down somewhere not necessarily of her first choice.
Husbands don't necessarily find that an inconvenience. I think women are more practical. As far as the life view is concerned. We know we are going to need somebody sometime. In our case, our family isn't that fertile, and after a lifetime of five girls, we turned out a generation with only two daughters, and even they are far from their parents. Who is going to help who, when a friend is needed? I have lots of friends in San Diego, but only two people offered again and again to help Theodore and me when we were in our extreme need, (and not the ones who I'd have thought were my closest friends.)
I trust my wonderful daughter-in-law to do her best for me if needed. But she has three children and a job, and lives two thousand miles away from me. All the best will in the world cannot change that. And my son won't move near here, and my husband will not go to the cold weather. And that's that. I cannot say to my husband, so long, I'm off to spend my old age far away. It just isn't done.
I did say to him, yesterday, however, I hope in the kindest possible way: "I want you to know that if you ever need care that is beyond my capability, I will not try to struggle on and wear myself out. I will see that you go to a nursing home." Because I am talking about the kind of care that we cannot financially afford at home. And I said that I want him to do the same for me.
Now it is time for ME to start considering the steps that would have to be taken, that WILL have to be taken by somebody, at some point. I accept the responsibility for my decision. We are fine, now, I hasten to add!! I can still cook up a storm, he can still do a lot of the housework and work in the yard to boot. But the time will come, and it will come in its own time, and I see it. YAZZYBEL
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